In a society where everything is connected, and I mean everything, it is important to disconnect so that there can be a reconnection. Don’t get me wrong it is important to stay connected, but there are some things that don’t need to be shared, except with your partner, especially over social media.
When you’re dealing with marriage, or even a long term relationship, it’s extremely important to find time for eachother. Share your day together, set goals with each other about your relationship, life and future, both individually and together. Visit these ideals often and allow them to be flexible enough to change as the dynamics of your life change from day to day.
Relationships are hard, marriage is hard; when you mix in the complexities of every day life struggles, it all becomes that much more difficult to deal with sometimes. Today’s society seems like it is built to tear down relationships rather than build them up. It seems like staying together becomes the challenge of life, rather than figuring how to make ends meet and raise children that aren’t going to wreak havoc on society once they’re cut loose.
Touch is important, touch each other often. Touching creates closeness on a subconscious level to the point where I can tell the level of irritation my husband may be at with me just by whether he touches me or not, all the way to how and when he chooses to touch me. Non-verbal actions often speak in more volumes than words would ever be able to.
Communication is important, but don’t just communicate, listen to your significant other and show them that you’re listening through your actions. My husband has said to me from the day that I met him, “I can show you better than I can tell you.” This has proven true to this day. It has not come without struggle, but the most of it has come through learning each other so that we have the ability to meet each others needs and wants.
Being yourself is important. It is unfair for either person in a relationship to be anyone other than who they are to themselves. It’s deceiving and nothing good can come from it. Yet another reason to be honest, because when you are not honest about who you are as a person with other people, it takes away their choice of whether or not they even want to be in your life. Honesty creates trust in a way that no other word or action could ever be able to and helps build a foundation that becomes impenetrable later when the hardships of life come into play. Likewise, allow your partner to be themselves. Choices. Choices. Choices. Support theirs and ensure that your own are being supported as well. This means creating boundaries; which, is for another post.
Combining all of these ingredients will help a relationship grow. While there are many other factors, I wanted to speak on just a few that I’ve encountered myself over the last few months, not just in my own relationship, but also in some of the counseling that I have done recently.
Ultimately, it is extremely important to know that relationships are two people with separate lives coming together and each brining their strengths together to build something better. The weaknesses will be picked up along the way through support from each other. Your love should always exceed your need for each other; after all, both of you were individuals prior to being together and the entire reason for being together should be because of each other’s individuality and what drew you to that person to begin with.
Be a movement by yourself, but be a force together.